Why Sakura Mikan is Stupid
by riesheee
Summary: The title says it all. Why is Sakura Mikan stupid? This is something questioned by many, but never answered. Hotaru's perspective into this. Believe it or not, your choice. One-shot. #2


**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of the characters. Everything belongs to Higuchi Tachibana. Oh, I do not own Naruto too.**

**Author's Note: This is a one-shot. Enjoy reading! Please remember to review and thanks! Warning: may contain spoilers about Mikan and her mother.**

**Summary: The title says it all. Why is Sakura Mikan stupid? This is something questioned by many, but never answered. Hotaru's perspective into this. Believe it or not, your choice.**

Why Sakura Mikan is Stupid

_We hold these truths to be self-evident,_

_that all men are created equal, _

_that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,_

_that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness._

_-Thomas Jefferson, 1776_

But, what about intelligence?

* * *

No one can question Sakura Mikan's intelligence quotient (IQ).

No one, indeed.

Who could forget the time when she mistook salt for sugar?

A common mistake that many make, you may say, but wait till you hear the full story. And that was what Sakura Mikan's genius partner; Hyuuga Natsume did—announcing the details to the whole world, much to her displeasure. It happened when Mikan suggested to make teddy bear cookies for Narumi-sensei, because Narumi insisted that she and Natsume _must_ learn to work together after he caught them bickering during his lessons. So he came up with an impossible task, that is, Mikan and Natsume have to whip up something for him so that not only can they learn to work as a team, he can also enjoy a scrumptious meal.

Neither of his policies worked, in the end.

Natsume let Mikan do all the chores; his only task was to put in and take out the cookie tray from the oven, since he did not fear the heat. He ended up lying in a chair, reading another manga.

"Guess what, Natsume?" said Mikan, while waiting for the mixture to bake. "I almost thought I had put salt in! The packet was labeled as "SALT" and it even tasted salty when I tried it! But I guess manufacturers make mistakes sometimes and pack their products wrongly, because it looked just like sugar! You know, white crystals? The stuff they taught during Chemistry lessons? There must be something wrong with my tongue today… maybe I should go and visit the school nurse. Because if it isn't sugar, what else can it be, right?"

Mikan seemed very pleased with her conclusion and leaned back against the wall, satisfied.

_My God, she is such an idiot._

Natsume looked up from chapter 130 of Naruto and for a while, he was stupefied. He couldn't believe his ears. _Does she even know what nonsense she is spouting out from her huge mouth?_ He was just about to point out that table salt looked just like white crystals too, but then he stopped himself and gave a what-you-say-doesn't concern-me shrug instead. He wouldn't mind Narumi taking leave from school for a day after an overdose of salty teddy bear cookies.

Apparently the entire class didn't mind having free period too, not when they could do whatever they wanted without even needing to consider the poor substitute teacher.

"You scored 169, didn't you, Inchou?" asked Anna and Nonoko in unison, referring to the latest IQ test the whole cohort had just taken. Yuu blushed slightly and nodded.

"I—I heard that Hotaru-chan scored 175." he stammered.

"Well, _my_ Natsume-sama got 178!' gloated Sumire.

"It's his score anyway, not yours. You can never match up to him, Permy," Kokoroyomi teased her.

"How dare you—at least I'm not as bad as Mikan! She only scored 70 for this test!" she scoffed.

"I heard that she broke the lowest record of 104 in the whole Academy," Mochiage added.

"And I'm surprised she's not mentally retarded," said Kitsuneme.

"She is; her optimism just covers it up," Hotaru pointed out. "I expected her to get 50, so there is an 80% chance that Inchou helped her out." She shot an accusing stare at poor Yuu, who immediately broke out into cold sweat.

"Hotaru-chan, do you know something about her parents?" asked Nonoko. "Is her intelligence inherited?"

"30 rabbits each and I'll talk," was all the stoic-faced inventor said. Everyone pulled out their wallets—after all, who would want to miss out on good gossip?

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a traveler.

He spent his days exploring the globe, seeking adventure. He was happy, as he had always longed to be free. He had straight blue hair and dark blue eyes, and although he never knew it, he looked exactly liked his mother, who had died after childbirth. He was sent to a school far away from his hometown at three, and never saw the outside world again until fifteen years later. When he graduated, he could have become a renowned chemist, as his specialty was concocting peculiar potions that were never seen before. But no, he turned down the many job offers and set off on a journey to the many wonders of the world. Places that he had always wanted to go for the past fifteen years he spent behind the walls of the school. He travelled from France to Australia to Shanghai to Spain to Italy and to the United States of America. He left with no money, but returned with plenty. His travelling expenses were covered by mesmerizing innkeepers with his quirky tricks. His most famous and effective one was the Disappearing Act, where he drank a murky grey liquid and melted away, leaving a circle of fascinated spectators, a standing ovation and bags of ringing coins to take away, unnoticed.

Now he was twenty-five, and after seven long years of trekking across the globe, he was ready to return. The first place he would visit was his hometown, a small village town located far away from Tokyo, where his dreaded school was situated in.

As he stepped into the unfamiliar surroundings, a wave of apprehension hit him. Why did he come back here? Was it to see his father, who had placed him in front of the orphanage and never came back for him again? _No._ He shook his head and took a step back. Maybe it was still not too late to back out now. He could catch a plane to Russia and go back to his swindling ways again.

Then he caught sight of an old man, sitting on a nearby bench, smiling at him. The old man was carrying a young child in his arms, soothing her to sleep. Suddenly he felt nostalgic, and he found himself walking over to the bench.

"Is she your granddaughter?" he asked. It was the only thing he could think of to say.

The old man nodded wistfully and said, "Her mother called her Mikan."

"I'm Yuuji." He held out his hand, and suddenly remembering the Japanese customs, he changed it into an awkward bow.

"Oh my! Aren't you that traveler?" said a voice from behind.

Yuuji turned to face a middle-aged woman.

"I saw your performance in the Netherlands a few years back, the Disappearing one! My, it was simply _marvelous_! Would you do it again?"

Soon, the news spread across the whole village like wildfire. Yuuji and the Disappearing potion, Yuuji and the Camouflaging potion, Yuuji and the Flying potion, Yuuji and the Smartness potion…

"Smartness potion?" inquired an old man, who was carrying a young girl.

"Yes, he's some sort of crazy scientist I guess," the woman from before muttered impatiently. She wanted to see his latest trick now. "He has all kinds of weird stuff with him; one of them even made a child _croak_ like a frog! Anyway I've got to go now!"

With that, she hurried off, leaving the old man in deep thought.

One hour before midnight, Yuuji was in a drunken state. After counting the coins he earned from today, he drank himself to sleep and slumped himself over a bench.

The old man approached him and heaved a long sigh. This was his favorite bench. Often, after coaxing young Mikan to sleep, he ended up sitting on the bench, perhaps counting the stars, or maybe just enjoying the peaceful silence of the night. "And I was just about to ask Yuuji-kun about the Smartness potion too," he thought aloud. He had been pondering about this subject since afternoon. Maybe, just maybe, if this traveler's potions really worked, maybe his Mikan-chan could do well with that so-called Smartness potion. The last thing the old man wanted was for her to end up poor and barely literate like him. If she grew up well-educated and became successfully, he knew that her mother—the nice, lovely lady who left Mikan with him—would be proud.

"Smar… nes… portion…" Yuuji mumbled. The old man shifted closer.

"Fufth… from left. Gagebazooh." He turned in his sleep and knocked over a few bottles of beer.

Fourth from left? Or fifth? The old man peered inside Yuuji's robe. A row of tiny flasks hung from clips. The old man was amazed. He could see the liquids, in the colors of the rainbow, gurgle inside their containers and shake which each twitch Yuuji made. He was just about to reach for one when he pulled his hand back, shaking his head furiously. _No, don't steal_, whispered a tiny voice in his head.

Another voice argued: _it's for Mikan-chan and her mother_.

_Stealing is wrong; you'll regret doing this._

_Just one tiny drop won't hurt, right?_

He finally succumbed to the last reason and sucked in his breath. Yes, it's all for Mikan and her mother. _All for them._ Now the problem was which one to pick? The tiny labels looked just like meaningless scribbles to him, and even if he could read, there was no way he could see the words in the dim moonlight.

The fourth or fifth flask?

The old man decided to go for the latter.

That was his first mistake.

When he returned home, Mikan was still sleeping soundly in her cot, just like when he left her. He carried her out and stared at the tiny flask. _Just one drop…_

"Stop!" a voice yelled.

He whirled around to see Yuuji standing in the doorway. He reeked of alcohol; a smell that was very apparent in the usually lavender-smelling room.

"Just one drop, please…" he pleaded.

"No!" Yuuji lunged for him, and the old man popped the flask open before Yuuji could get it. His second mistake. Yuuji pressed forward and caught the old man by his baggy trousers. _No!_ The old man yelled in his mind. _If he pulls down my pants, he will see my polka-dotted boxers!_ As he reached down to get the man off his feet, he threw the flask across the room, and conveniently forgetting that he was holding onto a two-year-old infant too, Mikan flew across the room too. (This story is getting crazy.) Both landed perfectly in the cot. The old man resisted cheering, "Score!"—as he always did when he landed a ball in the basketball hoop during his younger days. But what he forgot was that the flask was opened, and therefore its entire contents spilled over Mikan's face, with the majority going into her mouth.

If Mikan could talk right now, she would have said that it tasted like sour milk. Not a very pleasant thing to taste when you're sleeping in the middle of the night.

"No…" groaned Yuuji, sinking to the floor. The old man did not know what to do.

"I'm sorry; I'll pay it back to you," he said, but Yuuji shook his head.

"No, it's not that…"

"Then…?"

Yuuji licked his lips nervously. "Well I was kind of semi-conscious when you came," he said. "But after you took one of my potions, I realized that… you took the wrong one."

The old man suddenly felt cold and turned to look at his granddaughter, spread in her cot with yellow liquid on her face. He mustered enough courage to ask, "Which did I take?"

"The exact opposite of the Smartness potion," Yuuji answered as he took out the flask containing violet liquid, fourth from the left.

It suddenly hit him. _Yellow and violet; the two complementary colors._

The old man stared at the mess he had made. "Please tell me your potions don't work," he said.

"Well, they usually do."

Poor Mikan.

* * *

The inventor glared at the stares she received after she finished her story.

"What?" she snapped. The crowd drew back.

"That's the lamest story I've ever heard." Kitsuneme commented.

"Yeah," said Ruka, nodding.

"I want my 30 rabbits back!" Mochu complained. Several people agreed.

"It's up to you to believe me." She turned away and added, "No refund."

"Hotaru-chan… how did you know about this?" asked the class representative.

"She went to Sakura's grandfather and asked her why Sakura is so stupid," Koko answered for her, grinning as usual.

"Just like that? And he just told you the whole thing?" Sumire said incredulously.

"As a matter-of-fact, yes."

The crowd dispersed, shaking their heads. Anna caught up with her best friend, who looked moody.

"What's wrong, Nonoko-chi?" she asked. "Did you believe what Hotaru-chan said?"

The girl with straight blue hair and dark blue eyes—inherited from her father—bit her lip.

"Well... my father's name is Ogasawara Yuuji."


End file.
